#johnny is based off a jojo character from part 7
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Wild Meets Wild Chapter Three
It was hard, saying goodbye to Silverpine City for Rusty. He could tell it was the same for Princess and Smudge. This place, even though they were leaving it behind, was their home for six months, basically their world. They could never see the sights, and inhabitants that lived here again. They would never sniff the same scents again. Rusty would always remember that he came from the City; even if he became a Warrior, he would never forget his origins as a cat that lived on Lucky Land Lane.
Penumbra was the first cat they saw, chilling by a black fountain birdbath. The Black and Gray Chimeria’s face shot up to greet them, four ears crowning her head. “Hello, Smudge, Rusty, and Princess! What brings you here today…” she trailed off when she saw their solemn faces. “Why do all of you have expressions like you are about to make a life-changing decision?” Penumbra meowed.
Rusty met her gaze, but before he could speak, Smudge beat him to it. “We are,” the black-and-white tom said, then seemed to hesitate.
Penumbra cocked her two-toned head. “What?”
The trio nodded. “We’re going to live with the Clans,” Rusty said, “So we came to say goodbye.”
Her nose wrinkled. “You can’t be serious,” she growled, sitting up. “Those snotty cats with their “blood-lines” and their “boundaries?” ” Her tail swished behind her, her long-furred tail catching dust.
“That’s right,” Princess said.
“You three might be crazy,” Penumbra began, her voice hard initially. But when she glanced at Smudge, her tone softened a little. “They will never accept you. Any of you.”
“We know that realistically,” Smudge said, “some cats won’t accept complete strangers into their home. But hopefully with time, our efforts can make some see otherwise, and they will call us clanmates.”
Her whiskers twitched. “Always an optimist, Smudge? That won’t protect you out there in the forest.”
“We’ll keep him safe, don’t worry,” Rusty purred. Princess nodded in agreement.
“Well,” Penumbra said. “You need to try to come to visit. And if I see one hair on your pelt is harmed, Smudge,” she glared at Rusty and Princess, “you’ll have me to answer to me.”
Rusty nodded. “Of course,” he said, blinking. She acted tough and had a soft spot for Smudge, but at the same time, she had a lot of faith in him. “He’ll be ok, Penumbra.”
One set of ears twitched on her head. “He’d better be,” she said.
“We’re going to say goodbye to Johnny and Sephiroth,” Princess said. “Do you want to tag along?”
The molly looked at Smudge, then at Rusty and Princess before sighing. “Okay, but if any Clan Cat tries to spout “pure-blood” rhetoric at me then I hope they have the cat version of medical insurance because I’m not dealing with any bullshit-nonsense. I already have to deal with that from Razoul, no need to get it from some Larpers.”
“Noted,” replied Rusty. He hoped that Lionheart didn’t piss Penumbra or the others off, but he didn’t see the golden tom to be the type to gloat about blood-lineage. Hopefully, they shouldn't have to deal with that once they got to the Clan.
Penumbra sneezed before getting up. “Come on, Sephiroth should be outside sunning his fur by now.” And with that, she took the lead. Blinking in surprise, the others looked at each other before following her.
They had to pass two gardens before they saw the large Nebelung, and sure enough, he was sunning on the patio table that was on the deck. Penumbra wasted no time calling his name. “Sephiroth, come down here, you have visitors. Smudge, Rusty, and Princess!”
The tom grumbled before opening his yellow eyes. “What?” Looking down, he spotted the quartet of cats amassed below him. “What’s going on here? Penumbra, your voice can wake up the dead,” he muttered.
“Rusty and the others have something to say...unless you think you’ll chip a claw and faint if you come down?” she sneered.
Princess shook her head, “Those two argue like old mates, I won’t be surprised if they have kits when we leave,” she said under her breath.
Sephiroth sprang down from his resting place and padded up to them. “Okay, I’m down here, what’s going on?” meowed the dark gray tom, his deep voice vibrating in Rusty’s ear fur.
“Smudge and the others are leaving to join some country hicks who think they're the shit,” Penumbra replied, blue and yellow eyes staring straight at the Nebelung’s face.
Sephiroth’s eyes grew comically large. “Country hic—you mean the Clans? Why would you want to join them? All they do act that they are Gods’ Gift to the world, and then get mad when you even step over the fence. Last time I checked they don’t own the damn city, so why get so torn at that?”
Rusty cleared his throat before talking. “Me and Princess want to join because our owners want us to enter a very high Show-Cat Circuit, and we refuse to put up with all of the drama that goes with it. As for Smudge, one word: Donovan.”
Penumbra’s head turned so fast Rusty was surprised it didn’t break. “Donovan? That little ba- that guy with the dead fish-eyed look? Why didn’t you mention that?” she hissed in anger. “This makes more sense now,” a sympathetic look came into her eyes. “Smudge, you feared for your life, didn’t you?”
Smudge nodded his head. “Donovan is unpredictable, and Charlie and his sister can’t keep an eye on him at all times. Better play it safe. Besides, I want to become a Medicine Cat, apparently, the Clans have some knowledge of herbs, which makes sense since they didn’t all die from some sickness or infections. I can contribute so much Penumbra, I know I can!”
The she-cat stared long at Smudge before she spoke. “I truly hope that you find meaning in this Clan Smudge. Same goes for you Rusty, Princess. Don’t let some glorified Backyardigans tell you can’t strive to do things, show the Clan and everyone in it what cats from Lucky Land Lane can do.”
“Penumbra is right, don’t let them shame you for being born somewhere else. They might not like you since you were born over the fence, but don’t let them say you will never amount to anything just because you don’t have Clan blood, whatever that means.” Sephiroth then looked pensive. “Are you taking anything with you by the way? Maybe if you bring some gifts like a blanket, some will be more accepting of all of you. Winter nights in this country can get harsh, taking one can help.”
Princess’s head shot up. “We did consider that! It was Smudge's idea, so this morning we took three blankets along with some toys for any kittens.” She didn’t bring up Bonnie or PK, much to Rusty’s relief. He didn’t need Penumbra to find out about his plush, or she’ll bring it up that he still needs a stuffed toy to go to bed.
Sepiroth cocked his head, “How do you plan to carry all of that by the three of you? You know what, I’ll help, I'm sure Penumbra would be thrilled to help Smudge.”
Penumbra glared, but Smudge cut her off before the two can argue even more. “We still need to talk to Johnny, Winry, and Seng. Can we please hurry?”
Sephiroth grunted and went to Princess’s side. “Lead the way then.”
Johnny’s backyard always made Rusty envious. Various garden statues from fantasy games littered the lawn, and he even had a koi pond that his owners defended like it was their newborn child, along with catnip plants in colorful pots.
Johnny was located by a garden statue, a red flower with black eyes from games that have some human with a mustache jumping down some green pipes.
The orange tabby seemed to notice that he had company since he started to wheel himself towards them. Today, he wore a white bandana with blue stars on it. “Is anyone going to explain why they are five cats in my backyard? I mean, I’m grateful that I have visitors, but I have a hunch that I’m not going to like what I’m going to hear.
He was right.
After getting a quick rundown from Rusty, Johnny shook his head. “Well, if that is what you want to choose, then I hope that everything turns out well for the three of you. I can’t blame you either, with you and Princess becoming a bunch of fashion divas and Smudge wanting to leave his home so he won’t be hurt. Trust me, I wouldn’t wish to stay in homes like that on my worst enemy. Granted, if they got hit by a fully loaded speeding semi-truck, then I'm fine with that.”
Rusty pointedly ignored the two bullet-shaped scars on the tom’s back, the reason why Johnny had to be in that wheelchair. The tom refused to talk about his past, and only said he came from a rescue center and is now happy with his new owners, especially their daughter, Erina. He also hated to be seen as a liability and would grow cold to anyone who tried to baby him.
“It’s nearly time, how about we stop by Winry and Seng before we get the things and leave?” meowed Rusty.
Johnny snorted. “I’m coming along. I want to be there to see these “wild cats” that I keep hearing about. Too bad I missed Henry fight that tom, I was at the vet getting shampooed.”
Johnny then noticed the looks he was getting. “There’s a hole in the fence that some humans can’t be bothered to fix, I can just go right through it. I’m not stupid, I know I can’t climb the fence,” he said, voice full of irritation.
The others had the decency to look embarrassed, and the group of five became six.
To Rusty and the other’s disappointment, Winry and Seng didn’t seem to be out at all. “That’s right, they should be at HeartGold Park at this time. I guess in all of the excitement, it left our minds,” glumly replied Princess.
“We can tell them what happened,” mewed Penumbra reassuringly. Softly headbutting her in the shoulder, she went on, “They’ll understand, knowing Seng, she’ll be happy that you are happy.”
Princess’s eyes glittered with emotions. “That’s the kindest thing you’ve ever said to me. I’ll never forget that.”
“Good. Don’t get used to it,” She said in a light voice.
“Hey, what about me?” asked Rusty. He didn’t get any encouraging words!
“You two are littermates, you two can share it,”
While Johnny went through the hole he talked about, the others raced back to the garden that Rusty and Princess used to call home. Grabbing PK in his mouth, he carried the autumn blanket carefully as he could on his back so it won’t unfold. Princess carried the Starry blanket and Bonnie, and Sephiroth and Penumbra carried the Jack o Lantern between them since it was the largest. Smudge held his lunchbox in his jaws.
Once over the fence, they saw Johnny was already on the other side. “Finally! I thought humans would have created flying cars by the time you five came here!”
Sephiroth surprisingly rose to his bait. “Okay, oh Sultan of Speed, how about you carry this with Penumbra then? You the only one that doesn’t have any cargo. How’s that fair?”
Johnny puffed out his chest. “It’s because I never volunteered to, I just wanted to see Clan cats and say goodbye to the others. Penumbra is right, you don’t deserve that name. The real Sephiroth wouldn't have whined about holding some fluffy blanket, do you need your beauty rest so you won’t pass out from this grueling labor?!" taunted the orange and white tom.
“Time to go,” hissed Smudge. He was getting antsy, and quite frankly so was Rusty and Princess. Honestly, he loved these cats but they can’t argue right now when Lionheart should be on his way
“Alright, alright,'' said Johnny. “Lead the way."
As they approached the spot where they met the Clan Cats yesterday, Johnny looked around with interest. “Huh, who would have thought that this is behind the fence after all this time. Just how far does this place go anyway?” he wondered out loud.
Penumbra saw a squirrel’s bushy tail darted up a tree with abundant speed. "This makes me want to catch a squirrel or even a bird back home,” she replied. “It feels peaceful here too, I’ll give those forest cats that."
“Okay, we're here, right on time,” muffled Rusty behind the toy. Dropping his cargo, Rusty sat on the grassy floor with a sigh. The others copied his actions, with them carefully placing the items on the soft grass. “These cats better appreciate this, I swear if someone spits on our faces for “bringing frivolous things" than they can catch these paws with their face,” said Penumbra, whiskers twitching.others
Rusty, Princess, and Smudge shook their heads. With Penumbra’s owner being an MMA fighter, that sounded less of a threat and more of a promise.
Rusty turned his head to take in their surroundings. Tall trees shielded the ground from the midday sunshine, making it comfortably cool. Here and there a patch of sunlight shone through a gap in the leaves and lit up the forest floor. Rusty could smell the same cat-scent as last night, and as a matter of fact, he picked up Lionheart’s scent, along with two unknown ones nearby.
“Lionheart! Is that you? You can come out with your friends!” meowed Rusty, which caught the attention of others.
“Someone is here?” replied Johnny, looking around in surprise.
The bramble bush in front of them shook before Lionheart walked out of the undergrowth.
“So you scented me, that’s a good sign that you are aware of your surroundings." His gaze never left the unknown cats as he came to a halt. “Whitestorm, Stonefoot, you can come out now too," he meowed.
‘Who’s Whitestorm and Stonefoot?’ was the thought that was on everyone’s minds.
The city cats watched as two new cats strolled into the clearing. One was a long furred white tom that had a hint of grey on his ears, tail, and face, while the other one had Russian Blue ancestry, and had very faint traces of stripes on his tail and legs.
“Lionheart? Who are these cats? I thought you said there would be three of them? And what are those things beside them? They smell like it came from two-leg place," said the greyish tom, who must be Stonefoot.
Rusty stared at the tom, he resembled Bluestar greatly. ‘Is he related to her by chance?’
Smudge picked up on this and cocked his head to the side as he glanced at the grey cat. “Excuse me Sir, are you related to Bluestar by any chance?”
Stonefoot inclined his head. “Yes, I am. I’m her son, and she was made Deputy when my siblings and I were still kits by her side.” His voice was filled with pride when he mentioned this, and he turned to face the white tom next to him.
Whitestorm, who was probably named for his fur, spoke up. “I have to say, when Bluestar said that they were kitty pets that resembled Leopardshine and was nearly the size of our biggest Warrior, I had a hard time picturing it. But now, I can see why she extended an offer to join the Clan."
“But to answer Stonefoot’s question, who are these cats Rusty?” mewed Lionheart, his voice having the slightest edge to it. Rusty wondered why until it hit him. He might think it is some trap since he had only expected the three of us. He doesn’t know about Pen, Sephiroth, or Johnny.
"I guess it is fair we introduce them." Using his tail, Rusty pointed at his friends. “This is Penumbra, Sephiroth, and Johnny. They decided to send us off when we told them we were leaving and offered to carry gifts for your Clan."
Meeting the Clan Cats gazes, he continued. “As for those items over there; we figured since you said nights can get cold, we brought blankets, something that can keep you warm. We also brought some toys for any kittens for entertainment.”
The cats gave their own greetings.
Penumbra nodded her head. “I always wondered what a Clan Cat would look like, so it’s nice to meet you three,” she said. Smudge gave her a quick glance, and Rusty assumed she was putting a friendly face so she won’t come off needlessly antagonizing.
“And no, I can’t hear out of the other pair of ears, apparently they are for show,” the molly answered.
“Yes, my back legs don’t work. This is called a wheelchair, and it helps me get around so I don’t have to drag myself whenever I want to move,” said Johnny. He wheeled himself in a tight circle to prove his point.
Lionheart, Whitestorm, and Stonefoot looked on with wide eyes.
“I never imagined that I’ll see a cat with Russian Blue ancestry in the forest. And one that somehow has ghost stripes as an adult! I know humans who would pay good money to have you as a pet!” Sephiroth told Stonefoot.
Stonefoot had a look of confusion in his bluish eyes. “...Thanks?”
Whitestorm went to the Jack o Lantern blanket and pressed down on it with his paw. Golden eyes took on a contemplative shine. “Lionheart, Stonefoot, I think they are right. The Elders and The Queens can make use of these.”
Rusty secretly did a fist pump in his head. They seemed okay with it so far!
The tom then looked at PK and Bonnie. “Are those for the kits? They sure are… colorful looking.”
“No, those two are very special and belong to us,” replied Princess. “The toys for the kits are in Smudge’s lunchbox.” She tossed her head to the Spidey themed tin box.
Rusty grimaced as Penumbra got a look in her eyes. “Rusty still needs a toy to go to bed? Oh man, why didn’t you tell me this before you decided to leave? I could have held this over him.”
The savannah tom sighed in resignation. At least she wouldn’t have the time to actually do it.
“Speaking of my lunchbox, can I please train to become a Medicine Cat? I’ll listen to every word my mentor says and my tin box can hold a lot of herbs!” said Smudge with hope in his golden eyes.
Stonefoot stared at Smudge in surprise. “You want to become a Medicine Cat? Hmmm, I’ll let Bluestar and Spottedleaf know that there is a potential apprentice that wants to join. If they say yes, then your odds are good.”
Smudge practically glowed with excitement.
“Can me and the others help carry this to the Clan? If that’s okay with all of you,” asked Penumbra.
Rusty looked at Lionheart with hopeful eyes. Princess and Smudge did the same.
Whitestorm and Stonefoot gazed at the golden tabby, who thought about this question.
“Only because your gifts seem like a pawful to carry.” Looking at Penumbra, Sephiroth, and Johnny, he went on. “It is an honor for outsiders to come to our camp, but don’t try to come back to our territories to catch prey, or you will be chased out.”
Smudge spoke before Penumbra could. “They know not to trespass, Lionheart. Right guys?”
Sephiroth nodded, though his eyes held a spark of irritation at the accusation that he’d hunt in foreign territory.
Johnny shrugged his shoulders. “The Valentines give me beef, poultry, and pork for my meals. So I’m good on that end.”
Penumbra bristled at Lionheart’s tone but nodded her head. “I’m fine with the prey back over the fence, you won’t find any squirrels missing from me.”
Lionheart nodded. “Good to hear. Stonefoot, you can…” he trailed off as the wind suddenly brought new scents into the clearing. Something familiar to the City cats.
Hissing, Lionheart’s fur fluffed up. “Dogs! Dogs are coming straight towards here! You five, hide over there and we sho—”
Out of the bushes shot out two large dogs. One was a brindle Greyhound, and the other was a fully grown black and tan Tibetan Mastiff.
The Clan cats jumped back, the scent of fear and alarm coming off of their fur in waves.
Rusty gaped at the sight, before yowling in joy. “Seng! Winry. You came!”
The dogs now known as Seng and Winry halted in front of the group of felines. The Greyhound huffed, before doing something that nearly gave the Clan cats a collective heart attack.
She spoke. Clearly.
“Why is it that when Seng and I came back from the Park, we find you,” she pointed her nose at Rusty, “Your sister, and the other’s scents near our houses that led all the way to the forest?”
Looking at Lionheart, Whitestorm, and Stonefoot, she then cocked her head. “Are you those Clan cats that think they are descendants from Wild Cats? Because I find that really funny when you live right next to a city, mate."
Whitestorm’s eyes bulged out of his skull. “T-t-talking dogs?!” The poor tom looked like he was going to faint from shock.
“That’s a nice Shaggy impression you got going on there,” replied Penumbra. She watched the spectacle with amusement.
Johnny shushed her, but he had the same expression.
Seng went ahead and licked Rusty’s face eagerly. Causing his fur to stick up. “Rusty! Why are you here? You could have gotten hurt, or worse! The animal catcher could have grabbed you!”
Rusty shook his head to fling off the remaining slobber. “The animal catcher won’t go after us since we have collars Seng, but thank you for your concern." He really meant it. Now they could say goodbye in person, and not by second hand.
Winry narrowed her eyes as she looked at the two Savannah cats and Turkish angora, then at the pile of blankets, before at the Clan cats, who seemed to be stuck in a flight or fight mode.
“Rusty." Her voice took on a knowing edge, which made him shuffle his paws. “Are you planning on joining the forest cats?” Seng shot up from furiously licking Smudge’s face with wide eyes.
“Huh? Winry what are you on about?” the Tibetan Mastiff got up and met Rusty’s green eyes. “Is Winry telling the truth?”
Rusty fought the gulp as he saw the confusion in her massive face. Winry and Seng were the only dogs that were their friends besides Oscar, and he was more of a friendly elder. Rusty didn’t want to break her heart, but he needed to tell her the truth.
But before he could, Princess answered both of their questions. “Winry is right. Me, my brother, and Smudge are leaving to join the Clan. Pen, Sephiroth, and Johnny came to help carry some things we’ll need for our new lives.”
Winry flicked her ears while Seng surprisingly growled low. “Are they making you do this against your will? If so I”ll—”
“No." Lionheart finally got over his shock, though his eyes were slitted and his tail was puffy. “They wanted to join our Clan with their by their own will. Bluestar won’t force them."
Whitestorm made a noise along with Stonefoot. “Rusty and his friends crossed the fence last night during our patrol, and it was our Leader who offered. She doesn’t make those on whims, which tells us that they have the potential to become something greater," rasped Whitestorm.
“It’s true Winry. Seng. Rusty and Princess wanted to join to escape becoming Show-Cats, while I had to leave because of Donovan," Smudge told them. He didn’t want them to think Lionheart and the others were trying to coerce them into something they didn’t want.
Rusty and Princess nodded in agreement. Penumbra lifted her head. “While I don’t like it, they do want to join, and I wish them the best in their endeavors.''
Winry showed teeth at the name Donovan. “Ouch. Sorry to hear about that Smudge. Heard that the guy is a real headcase."
Seng swung her head to Whitestorm, who stood his ground despite his whiskers vibrating. “You will protect them with all of your might. Right?" While her voice didn’t have any malice in it, the white tom felt the underline pressure in that sentence. The silent ‘Or Else’ was easily picked up by his Clanmates.
“We will protect them with our life, as they will protect ThunderClan," spoke Stonefoot. It seemed that he finally got over the shock, and he looked at the dogs with some kind of awe.
Rusty was confused. Sure, Seng was massive, but other than that, what confounded the Clan Cats so? They know what dogs were, so why act like that?
It seemed like he wasn’t the only one who thought of that. “So, why did you lot act like you just saw a funnel-web spider when we talked? Are dogs talking that big of a revelation to you?” spoke Winry. She had laid down on her side, since sitting down was a bit of a problem for her species.
Stonefoot and Lionheart took a step back. Leaving Whitestorm to speak for his Clan. The tom swung his head and hissed at this betrayal before reluctantly meeting the dogs faces.
“I mean no offense, but the Clans haven’t… had the best experience when it comes to dogs. Some attack us on sight with no provocation, and we never actually heard them talk. Just bark, with a splattering of words. Also, we see dogs with their two-legs on the trail, but I had never seen one big as you." He nodded to Seng, who stomped her paws. Small clouds of dust kicked up in the air.
“Well, dogs can speak, some just don’t try to learn to speak as you cats do." She then let out a series of barks that the city cats could make out as “My name is Sengdongma, and I like to chew on deer antlers."
Whitestorm and the others twitched at the sound but didn’t seem to pick on what she said. “See, that was me talking in the language of dogs. Some city cats know it, like those cats over there”.
A gold, white, and grey head turned to look at them in surprise. “You can understand dogs?!” sputtered Stonefoot. Rusty puffed his chest out with pride. “Yep! We can understand humans too. You have too if you live in the City”.
Winry then took over. “As for dogs attacking you, I really can’t hazard a guess as to why they do that. Unless they are arseholes and help to push the stereotype that dogs hate cats for no reason."
Whitestorm looked pensive before he cleared his throat. “Thank you for this conversation, Winry, Seng. But Bluestar is waiting for us back at camp, and we must make haste to return to it," he mewed.
“What about your collars?” asked Winry. She had gotten to her paws, and pointed at their collars and bandana with her nose.
Rusty had nearly forgotten about them. Their collars! Would the Clan accept them if they still had it on?
Seng had seemed to figure it out. “Hold still Rusty." Lowering her head to his neck, she bit the band and pulled. A quick pinch to his neck, and a loud snapping sound resounded in the clearing. Dangling from her jaws was his collar, snapped cleanly in half.
In total shock, Rusty took a deep breath and felt the hold of the thing that was around his neck as long he could remember disappear.
Princess’s blue eyes shone with realization. “Of course! You’re a genius, Seng. Can you do me next please." Said dog padded over to her, and a couple of seconds later, Princess’s collar met a fate similar to his.
“I feel so free!” she meowed. Turning her head this way and that, she turned to Seng. “Thank you so much, who knows how we could have gotten them off in the Clan?”
“No need to do mine Seng” Smudge simply sat on his haunches before he used his forepaws to play with the bandana around his neck. Soon, it became undone, and it fluttered to the ground.
“Thank you for helping out” replied Lionheart. “You three, take your collars, it will show Bluestar and the Clans that you mean what you say you want to join.” Stonefoot, show the others to our camp since they are holding things that require an easier path. Rusty, Princess, and Smudge are with me and Whitestorm."
“They’ll visit us right?” muttered Seng as she watched the cats get ready to leave. Stonefoot turned his head as he led Penumbra and the others to the side of the clearing.
“That is up to Bluestar, but I’ll make sure she considers it." And with that, they all disappeared into the thicket, Johnny’s ginger tail brushing the forest floor.
“Goodbye, Seng, Winry," Rusty said. They each passed their tongues over his face, then did the same to Princess and Smudge, their tails low but wagging faintly. They then lapped the cheek fur of Whirestorm and Lionheart, who blinked and fluffed out their fur a bit in surprise.
Seng looked at Rusty. "It's been fun," the mastiff said. "Be safe, you three."
"We will," Princess replied.
“We’ll show everyone just what Silverpine cats can do,” said Rusty.
Whitestorm and Lionheart nodded. Rusty collected his now broken collar along with his stuffed toy. With Princess and Smudge beside him as they followed the two warriors, Rusty took one last glance at the canines who befriended them.
“We will see each other again," woofed Seng. Then she, along with Winry, ran back to their homes.
#i speak#wild meets wild#rusty#princess#smudge#lionheart#whitestorm#stonefoot#cats from silverpine#penumbra#sephiroth#johnny#this chapter was supposed to be way longer but google docs became the fun police so I had to half it#otherwise this chapter would had been over twenty pages long#but it was really fun to write!#sepiroth is named after the famous villain from final fantasy vii#penumbra has four ears like yoda the cat#who is real look him up#johnny is based off a jojo character from part 7#he's kinda like briarlight but he has a cat wheel chair with pouches on the sides#sengdongma#seng the mastiff#winry#winry the greyhound#whitestorm wore revenge for lionheart and stonefoot's stunt with the dogs#thunderclan#fun fact penumbra and sephiroth just just appeared in my head randomly#just like nightsong#i not complaining since i grown to like penumbra#you'll see in ch four
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no one asked for it but here's jojo part's ranked by how much gay energy they have: (acending from 1. straight to 8. andrew rannells)
1. phantom blood
this one may seem either obvious or nonsensical depending on who you are (and probably what you ship) and i can confer there are gay people in it.
2. stardust crusaders
yes ok dio is gay and jotaro and kakyoin are shipped a lot but overall the amount of gay energy from part 3 is relatively lacking
3. battle tendency
the only reason this is gayer than part 3 is because caejose is what got me deeper into jojo's. muscle men be muscle men and the pillar men are.. pretty uhhh
4. jojolion
jojolion is pretty straight just from josuke and yasuho being cuteness, but honestly its cast is pretty straight. i can't think of anyone i immediately identify is queer. josuke has yasuho and tooru is a mega simp for her (as we all should be for yasuho) joshu is. also that. jobin is married. however. it has some gay energy and all my homies love jojolion
5. diamond is unbreakable
got damn i love that yellow sky and the countless murders taking place in part 4 morioh. josuke higashikata has some pretty queer energy and i! love! that! rohan is.. yeah. and overall the gay energy is present in part 4!
6. steel ball run
gyro and johnny. anything else? (besides diego gets pegged by hot pants we know that)
7. stone ocean
PRISON LESBIANS PRISON LESBIANS HELL YES GAY ENERGY HAS ARRIVED AND ITS IN PART 6
8. vento auero
maybe you saw this coming. yep. and i say this, because i swear. EVERY! CHARACTER! IN! PART! 5! HAS A GAY SHIP AND ITS AWESOME! and i swear la squadra is like most of that base. and it's topped off by our giogio with his bright pink suit with tiddy window. just perfect.
truly all of jojo's has gay energy and that's why i love it so very much.
#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo's bizarre adventure#all parts#phantom blood#battle tendency#stardust crusaders#diamond is unbreakable#vento auero#stone ocean#steel ball run#jojolion#this was fun to do 😌#shitpost
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Reading JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure For The First Time (And Ranking Them)
Splitting my thoughts into Parts (appropriately), this is the Third Post (not to be confused with JoJo Part 3) of my first impressions of the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Manga (Parts 1-8), and ranking them based on “Which version of the Anime I want to see”, which I have not watched yet because dedicating time to watch a show would put me further behind from all my JoJo friends.
The listing so far includes:
8th: Part 1: Phantom Blood 7th: Part 2: Battle Tendency 6th: Part 6: Stone Ocean
The next two entries I had in mind were kind of a toss up, but I think I’m going to give it to:
Part 8: Jojolion
So as of this writing, Part 8 is still in production and “incomplete”, though the last few chapters I’ve read do have an air of finality to them (all the plot points are converging, there’s a time limit on a character’s life, most of the lingering mysteries have been solved, etc.), and enough has happened that I feel confident in ranking this series next to the others.
JoJolion is a lot.
The universe of JoJolion is a direct sequel to Steel Ball Run (Part 7) which was itself a soft reboot of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. Part 7 was filled with aesthetic references and similarities to the previous six parts, but it did not share their continuity. Part 8 does have continuity with Part 7, and makes a lot of key references to Part 4 (including the name of the same town as Part 4 “Morioh”, and name drops of famous characters and one Stand from Part 4).
Because of this continuity, Part 8 starts with a lot of boring but needed exposition to explain how this Morioh is different from Part 4′s. But where Part 4 was a slice of life comedy that focused on the environment of the town and its people, Part 8 is a slice of life that focuses on this one eccentric family facing off against what basically amounts to a Drug Cartel, while the amnesiac main character (also named Josuke) slowly unravels the lingering mystery about his origin.
I was getting a dark “Family Sitcom” satirical vibe from this series, and hope someone makes a “Too Many Cooks” mashup when Part 8 finally gets an Anime. Or at least add a laugh track.
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I don’t know how being a direct sequel to a story that took place a century ago in America’s Wild West would over complicate the story of a Japanese Family Sitcom but JoJolion finds a way.
One of the most frustrating aspects of Part 8 is the recurring aesthetic choice that causes unnecessary confusion when trying to explain the story aloud.
The main character of Part 8 is named “Josuke”, and he is adopted by the “Higashikata” family, becoming “Josuke Higashikata” (not to be confused with the main character of Part 4 who shares the same name). This Higashikata Family has a rare Hereditary Disease referred to as the “Rock Disease” that slowly kills the eldest child by turning them into rocks on their 10th Birthday, and messes with their short term memory.
Unrelated to that disease, you have a group of meta-humans called “Rock People” (likely a nod to the Pillar Men) that have the innate ability to become Rocks and hibernate over long stretches of time but otherwise look and act like regular humans when they’re not Rocks. The Rock People also have Stand Powers but that’s unrelated to being Rock People.
And finally there’s a magical fruit that if you eat it can heal any desired wound on the body but causes an “equivalent exchange” that turns a random body part into stone.
The “Rock Disease”, the “Rock People”, and the “Rock Fruit” are not related to each other.
The people suffering from the Rock Disease, are trying to steal the Rock Fruit from the Rock People that sell it. The Rock People are not humans who survived the Rock Disease, nor ate the Rock Fruit themselves, they’re just meta-humans with secondary Rock powers that supply the Rock Fruit to people who need it (like people with Rock Disease).
It’s such a baffling, unnecessary aesthetic choice.
Maybe. MAYBE there’s enough time in the unfinished story to reveal that 2/3rd’s of those Rocks are related, but I thought the Rock Disease was accidentally created from Part 7 Johnny Joestar trying to cure his wife by messing with the Holy Corpse.
Speaking of I’ve also found the Family Tree of the Higashikata to be a little confusing in relation to the Joestar Family Bloodline, because there’s a “Holly Joestar” in Part 8 who suffers from an unknown, incurable disease, that also affects her memories but that disease is not related to the Rock Disease suffered by members of the Higashikata family (if it is related, I don’t remember it being clear).
Also, is this universe Holly related to this universe’s Johnny? Like, you’d think so, given the name “Joestar”, but Part 8 makes a lot of repeated references to the Higashikata Family Tree and Holly doesn’t appear on it. If Holly is the granddaughter of Johnny, than wouldn’t that make Josuke (who’s complicated origin makes him related to Holly by blood), coincidentally a cousin to the family that adopted him?
Anyway the Rocks aren’t the reason to be reading JoJolion. You’d probably be reading/watching an anime adaption because you’re a JoJo fan and you’re morbidly curious about this version of “Josuke Higashikata”, this version of Morioh, and this version of Yoshikage Kira who starts off already dead before the story begins, and learn what his relationship is to this version of “Josuke”.
Similarly to Parts 2 + 4, the scope of the story of Part 8 isn’t made clear right away, and its just the Hero going through one bizarre encounter after another until finally some major Villains show up. Even then though, Part 8 is unique in that it’s not clear who the “main central antagonist” is even at the tail end of the series. There are a few contenders, but there’s no real obvious candidate, just an organized evil “Fruit Cartel”.
Because of Josuke’s unique origin (popping out of the dirt at the very start, he’s basically “born” into the world), Josuke starts off with a kind of passive personality, like Johnathan and Giorno, but develops into a fiercer more confident character like Jotaro and the first Josuke.
Even when he’s at his most “innocent” stage, he very clearly shows signs of having a temper. I remember early on after defeating an enemy Stand User, Josuke would wait for the girl he’s crushing on to turn her back before punching the downed enemy a few more times. As a JoJo, he probably goes through the most dramatic development over the course of the story (despite being probably the silliest looking of all the JoJo’s).
But I love his Stand “Soft and Wet”. It’s a very silly, seemingly lame power, but it’s got a nice aesthetic to it that will probably flow well in animation, and I just think the personified Stand looks awesome. It might be my favorite (looking) Stand of all 8 JoJo’s.
In fact, with the one exception that I can think of, Part 8 might have my favorite Stand Powers and Designs.
(Though I just remembered that Caeser Zeppeli’s Hamon took the form of Bubbles, making Josuke’s Stand likely an intentional reference to it).
But other than the slow start, and an incredibly “r*pe-y Jughead” supporting character (not that the 10 year old is much better...), I find the winks and nods to previous entries, specifically Part 4, to be a little frustrating because I’m constantly made to compare the two (and between Part 4 and Part 8, it’s no contest).
I’m honestly not a huge fan of continuity or flagrant fan-service that creates a continuity lock-out for potential new readers. Granted, I don’t think Part 8 is as burdened by continuity as Part 6 was (hence, ranking this one higher) but still.
I suspect that the Anime Adaptions of previous parts don’t rely on filler arcs, but I wouldn’t mind more filler to focus on the other Higashikata Family, particularly ones who’ve only used their Stands once and then (so far) never again.
Once JoJolion hits its stride, it does become pretty good, and as I said about Stone Ocean, the Stand Battles become more creative and harrowing further down the JoJo anthology. But other than the mystery of Josuke’s origin which I think is fairly compelling (particularly the actual flash back arc that explains it), I honestly can’t say I was that invested in the plight of the kid suffering from the Rock Disease. The disease itself is horrific, but the kid was kinda crummy up until he starts undergoing the symptoms.
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Here’s the Hot Pants’ I mentioned in one of my earlier ramble posts! I’m going to put the description for this pic under the cut since it got very long.
(Quick note: I did not finish or get very far into part 7 before I spoiled myself on everything and decided not to continue reading, so I might not be right about everything in the description. I did this on a whim as a sort of character design exercise, so please don’t think it’s me trying to ‘improve’ part 7 or something like that, I don’t think I could claim that with my lack of knowledge of the full story.)
I love canon HP a lot, but to my knowledge she’s one of the few original characters from sbr (ie, not a clear reincarnation of past Jojo characters like Johnny or Diego) and I thought it’d be fun to try and design her if she were based off of someone specific!
I know Abdul has a canon sbr reincarnation, but I also know he gets done dirty and HP being his reincarnation is funnier because of 1. her name and 2. her stand (dramatic irony at its finest). Meanwhile Speedwagon, to my knowledge, doesn’t have a canon reincarnation. Which I think is a missed opportunity, because pretty much everyone from part 1 except him gets one in sbr and it would round out the original main cast of part 1 if she were.
#scars#steel ball run spoilers#part 7 spoilers#long post#long tags#jjba#hot pants#muhammad abdul#robert eo speedwagon#liamins art#///A lot of these tags are like - just in case#///And because the other two are at least heavily involved#///I'm not super sure what this is ngl - but I really like it!#///Ig I just really wanted to draw hot pants and do character design so I combined them hbvgfc#///I don't really like how different they all look face-wise since they're supposed to be the same but it's whatever#///It's ~flavor~
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My favorite stand from every part (except 8) of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure.
Part 3 Stardust Crusaders: Star Platinum
Star Platinum is my favorite stand in part 3 for a lot of reasons but I’d like to talk about the biggest reason first.
Star Platinums’ Powers and moveset are deceivingly simple. In summary, It can punch REALLY good, like the best a stand can punch, but that’s about all it can do (especially since Jotaro forgot star finger somewhere along the way). Yeah I know it can stop time but honestly that’s cool and all but Star Platinums physical abilities are way cooler!
Take the Anubis fight, where Jotaro is outmatched by Polnareffs speed and gets stabbed by him/Anubis. Jotaro takes the sword to the stomach and proceeds to use Star Platinum to break the sword piece by piece all the way down to the hilt, before breaking it. That’s what I love about Star Platinum.
@swaggytron-prime and I we’re discussing a while back about how the hulk is a really interesting hero because he’s just really strong, and he has to solve all his problems with the-again-deceptively simple powerset of being really strong. Star Platinum carries with it the same feature. Jotaro has to take the ability of being really strong as far as it can go and it’s damn fun to see.
It’s visual design is iconic, it’s sound design is iconic (seriously the sound of Star Platinum landing a punch is cathartic) and It’s power is incredible.
That’s (partly) why Jotaro Kujos’ Star Platinum is my favorite stand in part 3
Part 4 Diamond is Unbreakable: Crazy Diamond
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWGE9Gi0bB0
One of if not my favorite stands belonging to one of if not my favorite characters in all of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Josuke Higashikatas’ Crazy Diamond is Jojo at it’s zenith.
There’s a lot I love about Crazy Diamond. It’s visual and sound design, it’s power, it’s relationship to Josuke and the way it informs us of his character, hell even the song it’s based on is incredible.
From the first moment we see Crazy Diamond we know everything it’s about. It’s fast, loud, aggressive, and powerful. It assaults Jotaro and would’ve landed a hit on him had Jotaro not used Star Platinums’ time stop. Stands are often referred to as the personification of the fighting spirit and i feel like Crazy Diamond represents this perfectly. Crazy Diamond represents Josukes’ determination, willpower, drive, and above all, selflessness.
Selflessness is really accentuated in it’s power to heal. Not only to mend objects but people, animals, anything. But Crazy Diamond can’t heal everyone, it can’t heal the dead, and it can’t heal Josuke. Yet despite what some would see as a fatal flaw Josuke rushes into deadly fight after deadly fight without second thought. Because Josuke cares, and he’ll fight for his friends and family till his last breath.
Josuke IS Crazy Diamond.
That’s why Crazy Diamond is my favorite Stand in part 4.
Part 5 Vento Aureo (Golden Wind): Sticky Fingers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59K2kF6o9Tk&list=PLhdPK-ltXSXtqfwmvkWqKaDvjGiT2ELb_&index=1
Bruno Buccellatis’ Sticky Fingers is an absolute masterclass.
Sticky Fingers once again shows off just how well Araki is at taking a simple concept and extrapolating it as far as he can.
Sticky Fingers ability is to put zippers on things be they people, objects, buildings etc. But Araki takes this to every level he can, from Bruno Unzipping parts of his body to avoid attacks, or unzipping walls or other terrain to create openings. To zipping severed limbs back together using the zipper to extend his own range, or even in once instance possessing another human being.
Bruno is our Passiones Capo, the leader, the father, the man everyone looks up to when things go wrong and Sticky Fingers mirrors this perfectly. Bruno has control in his battles, even when he doesn’t he does. His stand allows him to create and close openings, to access or deny anything he wants to anyone, and that’s exactly how he likes it.
A big theme in part 5 is determination, the ability to acquire change through perseverance. Bruno and Sticky Fingers are the kings of these ideals. Bruno never gives up no matter the cost to himself he will never back down and if he does, theres’ a strategic reason for it.
a great example is during Vento Aureos’ (arguably and in my opinion) best fight : Grateful Dead and Beach Boy. It’s come down to the wire, Pesci is the last one alive, filled with cold calculating, murderous intent, with Bruno on his line, dragging him through the corridors of the train. Bruno will die if he doesn’t act fast, so he uses Pescis’ own ability against him. He uses Sticky Fingers power and punches the wire (which reflects any attacks back onto the attacker) to unzip himself into pieces. and he lays there on the ground in pieces the blood left in his brain starting to fill in what’s left of his chest as he plays the waiting game with Pesci. Bruno has made grave bet, he can’t reach the other part of his chest that contains his heart. but this isn’t a mistake, Bruno had to this, to pit his determination and life against Pesci because Bruno wants to acquire change.
And then the train stops, Pesci had broken, doubt had gotten the better of him and he stopped the train to find his partner knocking Brunos’ chest back together, allowing him to, in the end, achieve victory.
This aspect of willpower, determination, confidence, and control is exemplified in every way within Sticky Fingers. It charges in like a shining knight ready to fight for what Bruno Believes in, and will not stop until it dies.
And even then for a little while afterwards.
That’s why Sticky Fingers is my favorite stand in part 5.
Part 6 Stone Ocean: Foo Fighters
Foo Fighters is a special case when it comes to stands in Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure. Most stands as said earlier are manifestations of a human beings fighting spirit. But Foo Fighters is not this at all. Foo fighters is a stand made up of plankton, given life through a disc containing intelligence and a singular mission and sent forth to stand guard at a treasure horde.
Foo FIghters orginally starts off as a villain, working for the main villain of the part out of fear that the main villain will take away the disc that gave it it’s intelligence, it’s life. But through meeting the protagonist of part 6, Foo Fighters discovers it’s own identity, it creates it’s own self, molds itself into something all it’s own and in the end (SPOILER) dies a complete being, with a soul, created from nothing but itself and it’s desire to be truly alive.
It’s this process which makes Foo Fighters so lovable, getting to watch it grow from some user-less stand imitating a dead person into it’s own being. Watching it learn how to feel and think for itself.
You feel so connected to Foo Fighters as you watch it grow and change and adapt. The process of finding itself, herself, before finally becoming her own with the help of her friends. Foo Fighters is beautiful.
That’s why Foo Fighters is my favorite stand in part 6.
Part 7 Steel Ball Run: Tusk (Act 1-4)
https://youtu.be/R7U7XtYeq8c
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Johnny Joestars’ Tusk is one of two very special stands in Jojo being that is in an act stand. Tusk evolves. When Johnny first receives tusk it is in act 1, and over the course of Steel Ball Run evolves into Tusk act 4.
Tusk is also special in the fact that it works somewhat independently from Johnny, the stand being a guardian of the corpse part that is contained within Johnnys’ arm and not simply Johnnys’ stand.
We meet Tusk much like we meet Johnny, at its weakest. Starting out as a small and weak being, granting Johnny the power to shoot his fingernails like bullets.
As Johnny learns the secret technique of the infinite spin he and Tusk face challenge after challenge and through these challenges, Tusk evolves into Tusk act 2. Which grants Johnny the power to leave large holes inside his targets which can destroy their vitals.
When Johnny faces a stand known as Civil War he comes to terms with his sins both mentally and physically, and through a message from Jesus discovers his greater purpose in the Steel Ball Run, to complete he holy corpse, and for this he is granted Tusk act 3 which granted him the ability to spin himself into an infinite point and reappear somewhere else.
It’s at this point during steel ball run the full pontential of not only Tusk but Johnny as well is begging to realize itsel Johnny is close to mastering the secret of infinite rotation, his dream of walking is within his grasp but a greater task inserts itself.
That task being Funny Valentine, the main antagonist or Steel Ball Run.
Johnny and Gyro continue to fight, now in battles far greater than they could imagine. Tusk realizes itself as a true guardian of the corpse part, and Johnny realizing himself as a guardian of the corpse parts. Which allows them to work in better together than ever before.
In the final moments of the battle against Funny Valentine Johnny uses the power of infinite rotation to achieve his full pontential.
And for it he is granted Tusk act 4.
Tusk act 4 is a crescendo, a finale, the grand culmination of entire parts worth of trials tribulations, lessons, fights, losses. It is hope and determination incarnate and with and it’s power of mastery over infinite rotation he defeats Funny Valentine.
Tusk is so special because of the journey we see through it. The journey of not only Johnny Joestar, but the journey of everyone in the Steel Ball Run, the journey of Johnny, Gyro, Hot Pants, Diego, Lucy Steel. The journey of these individuals, their victories, their sacrifices all reflected in every atom of Tusk act 4.
Tusk act 4 is a gift from god.
That’s why Tusk is my favorite stand from part 7.
Ps I love how Star Platinums was like “I just think he’s neat” and then it slowly devolved into a deep character study shit that’s classic my ass for you!
#jojos bizarre adventure#stardust crusaders#diamond is not crash#vento aureo#golden wind#stone ocean#steel ball run
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wekapipo >_< why did you have to die you were kinda dumb but also a pretty alright dude wish he could’ve went back to his sister. MAN THAT SUCKS SO MUCH HIS SISTER WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM !!!!!!!!
also when johnny’s dad showed up i cried. i was literally like don’t do this to me. his dad is such an asshole but omfg his appearance and speech was just heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. like the feelings of regret and guilt he must’ve had i mean he didn’t even show up at the hospital when his son got shot. he legit said god took the wrong son. honestly i didn’t think he would show up...
i am a bit confused abt one thing, i’m assuming every dio from every universe has the latent stand the world, including the one from the base universe. but since base dio has dinosaurs, would he ever be able to activate the world or is his stand forever gonna be just dinosaurs? i like that as a concept better bc i actually really liked base diego. diego from the other universe was really brutal tho but was he worse than base dio? maybe since he did literally have power to stop time he power tripped a lil more than base dio but i think they are almost interchangeable. sucks bc i really didn’t like how he interacted w lucy but i wont say i didn’t expect it
also speaking of lucy, she is literally one of the strongest jojo characters and i’m talking like mental strength and resolve. i really didn’t like how sexualized she was it was so unnecessary but thats prob been said before right. in any case i’m glad she got her badass moments and happy ending after all that struggling
hp deserved better though. SHE DIDN’T EVEN GET A PROPER CONCLUSION SHE JUST DIED SAME W WEKAPIPO LIKE im more ok w wekapipo’s death bc that just made me kinda sad but hp should’ve had a proper death or at least mention after she died like......and the way she died sucked too like if you’re gonna kill her off at least make it an amazing scene and not falling off a train. even prosciutto survived that but hp can’t? also why does she have to be named hot pants. i’m trying to look her up here but its just like sissy porn and girls wearing pants like go away i’m trying to look at an anime character nobody except for 3 ppl care about incl me. ALSO I SAID THIS BEFORE BUT IF SHES NAMED HOT PANTS SHE SHOULD’VE BEEN WEARING HOT PANTS
i’m also guessing that jojo parts 1-6 exist in the same continuity but different universe than sbr? or maybe its totally different altogether? like could fv bring over the actual dio and have him interact with diego and they would both die? but since there is no william zeppeli and johnny is american vs johnathan whos british...also diego is like 5′ and dio is like 6′7 or whatever...idk. it still could be an alt universe but i think its not meant to be
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Tusk
Alright, here’s Tusk, the very first stand of Part 7! I’ll be trying to review everything in order this part, aside from the main jojo’s and main villain’s stands, which will be at the start and end respectively. Anyway, here’s all four Acts of Tusk! This is going to be a long one, and there will be spoilers.
I think Act 1 may be my favorite. It’s just so pathetic and cute, with those beady eyes, oversized head and lumpy body. It look’s like it’s constantly on the verge of crying. But I especially like how much it looks like an elephant while not having any elephant features, at all. It really is a completely unique creature, with the hooves, fleshy whiskers and heart-shaped appendages. But apparently, it was based on an axolotl. Furthermore, it gives off a strong circus look, with the bright colors, elephant-like appearance, and stars. It’s a strong, memorable and endearing creature, even if it is a bit confusing, with that cone and string.
Act 2 is definitely different from Act 1, but I still like it. It’s no longer a organic misshapen-elephant, but rather a robotic stand that seems to balance on it’s ball-like tail. It’s certainly cool and cute, and it still holds up the circus theme with it’s balancing act, but it will come as a disappointment to anyone that fell in love with Act 1′s design. Both the stand and it’s aesthetic are simply too different. I do like it, but I’d like it a lot more as it’s own thing.
Act 3 follows Act 2, even keeping that odd structure on it’s head. I think Act 3 may be my least favorite, though once again, I’d like it more as a stand-alone thing, or maybe just Act 1, since the line has definitely chose “robotic” as it’s look. I like it’s odd joints and spiked feet, but the proportions and posture are just awkward. I think Act 3 is based off an acrobat or something, but it’s likely Araki just did whatever. It’s alright.
And here’s the final stage, Act 4. Tusk has gone from a tiny elephant to a tent-like monster, and now has fully-grown feet to stand on and arms to punch with. It has a magnificent sense of completeness to it, and it’s a great conclusion to both the line and Johnny’s character arc. I especially like how it gains Johnny’s horseshoe, as well as those star-shaped eyes with pinprick pupils. It does have a bit of awkwardness, due it’s size, but I think that the broad shoulders give it a strong enough silhouette and a powerful enough presence to make up for it.
In conclusion, Tusk is a bit of a mixed bag. They’re all good stands, but I love Act 1 most of all, and the other three have very different looks. But due to the strong sense of cohesion brought by the theme an star patterns, as well as the grand conclusion, I think Tusk is greater than the sum of it’s parts.
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JJBA part 7 volume 2 reactions
who will fall off their horse next and how frequently will this be an issue
my guess is currently Yes
- observation train explains how they’re seeing this
- did they have to build a new train track to follow this route?? because they just showed the route and it’s not as straight as they’d have you believe the train tracks would be??
- the letters on Diego’s hat are moving
- where he go?? is he stopping time or something oh my god
- “horses have more characteristics than humans” ...what does that mean
- oh like body language characteristics?? maybe?
- horse breathing: hacked
- “who needs habits when i can spin to win” - Gyro probably
- sir i would assume that is not healthy for the horse muscles there
- oh he’s breaking the bridge
- Pocoloco is so optimistic, he’s last but the ground is good to ride on
- oh he’s not last! the car ran out of fuel lol
- there’s Sandman!!
- oh my god he just went for it huh
- Wow he actually made it, poor horse though
- Johnny just wants senpai to notice him
- this looks like it will be a trick to get people stuck in the brush, make them think you’re going for a shortcut, then going back to the regular route when enough people get taken out. either that or more spin hacks
- hot balloon race updates! that answers my question about the observation train
- and then there’s this guy shooting trees
- yeah how well did that work out for you buddy
- and here’s a sword boy
- tree > sword, rip
- oh rip Pocoloco, his luck ran out
- is it based on his belief of his luck? because he only got poked by a branch once Johnny got involved, and that instant he was proven wrong was when it went downhill
- he’s still here! but at what cost
- Johnny here like “dang he’s stealing my strategy from earlier”
- plants love spinning things apparently
- Johnny, Gyro, and Diego here like serious business, and then Pocoloco is just having a good time while baffling logic and observers alike
- be kind to your horse’s legs, they’re one of the most nonsensical parts of the horse and horse anatomy is basically all nonsense
- okay that has to be a stand
- oh it’s fuckin creepy
- why does it remind me of the one that kills people by hanging on their backs
- oh jeez, randos murdered by hubris and gravity
- okay but how will he be inevitably lucky from this fall somehow? maybe by not dying
- i don’t think dead cows are known for sliding...
- the horse does Not enjoy this activity
- Sandman yeets into action
- “Yes I’m looking at him, and I can definitely tell you that right there is impossible.” - Mr. Steel basically
- “However now I will tell you exactly how it works” - Also Mr. Steel
- i’m pretty sure that’s not how physics work, you can’t just trick opposite forces away from you, that would be infinite energy
- that said, Sandman is powered by infinite leg energy
- Sandman has land on his side, that’s right, he hacked the earth
- if I didn’t know general jojo convention and someone showed me this, there’s no way i would believe Johnny is supposed to be the main character, he hasn’t shown up for like chapters at this rate
- “If my horse even sees an ass I’ll riot” - Gyro basically
- plot twist: spectators
- awww Johnny complementing his horse
- Diego has returned, and i only just noticed his horse has a star
- that air pressure thing actually is real physics
- not-so-subtle reference to Santana
- Dio is mad that other horses can kick rocks
- poor horses!! please treat them nicely after working so hard
- also i assure you the power is not kept in the horse’s leg, that’s mostly bone, the strong is stored in the shoulder muscles etc
- Sandman here with the power of god and anime on his side
- log jump??? but you lose speed in the air?? oh never mind
- “My horse is powered by trade winds and a hatred of asses” - Gyro probably
- Gyro win!
- wow all that was less than twenty minutes in-universe
- Huh, random timeline of Mr. Steel reveals, well... a bizarre adventure
- Military, circus performer, boxer, international sailor, newspaper writer (?), cryptid hunting adventurer, documentarian, rich guy, and now horse race owner, what a legend
- aww rip scammers killed his dreams
- the newspaper mafia is here to sponsor your dream race
- Oof, offering to marry a young girl still sketchy though :/
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